https://drsusanbartell.com/wp-content/uploads/Dr-Susan-Bartell-Logo-300-flow-1.png 0 0 Dr. Susan Bartell https://drsusanbartell.com/wp-content/uploads/Dr-Susan-Bartell-Logo-300-flow-1.png Dr. Susan Bartell2023-02-02 13:48:352023-08-02 13:48:59The Psychology EDIT February ’23
Each year, February 15th is Valentine’s Disappointment Day. If I had to guess, I would say that for a great many, Valentine’s Day is the most disheartening holiday of the year because so many hopes and expectations for an expression of romance, love, or even friendship just aren’t met.
People often create a vision (sort of like a short movie playing over and over) of how they want or hope Valentine’s Day will play out. For some, it’s specifically about flowers and chocolate, for others, it’s about hearing the words “I love you”. For many, of all ages, Valentine’s Day brings the hope that they will receive an affirmation that they are valued, not necessarily romantically, but simply in friendship or within the family.
Feeling valued is very important so don’t just hope for the best. I suggest a two-pronged solution that can improve Valentine’s day for oneself and for others.
- Don’t leave it to chance: It may seem less romantic, but if you communicate your (reasonable) hopes for Valentine’s Day, they are more likely to be met. For example, if receiving a card is important to you, tell your partner (or parent/best friend) that it would really make your day. If you would like to have a romantic dinner with your partner, plan the dinner and tell your partner. Bottom line: Ask for what you want to make your Valentine’s Day feel satisfying, (and encourage your partner or child to do the same). The more specifically you communicate and plan, the less disappointed you will be. In fact, planning and successful execution can be very romantic!
- Make it great for someone else: Think about the central people in your life and take specific steps to make them feel valued on Valentine’s Day. This is especially important if Valentine’s Day isn’t important to you but is important to them. It can be a text saying how much you care, preparing or ordering-in a special meal, getting a few heart-themed decorations, or allowing an extra fifteen minutes of family game time before bed. Bottom line: Valentine’s day is about making those you love feel valued—and there are so many ways to do this!
Happy Valentine’s Day!