The Psychology EDIT May ’23

Are you an extrovert or an introvert?

Seems like a simple question, right?

While some people are confident about this, I find that most people really aren’t sure. They love being with others, but also find that their social battery gets depleted easily; they don’t really like parties but get FOMO if they’re not invited; they feel incredibly shy and anxious going into new social situations but are totally fine with public speaking.

So, let’s try to understand it!

Introversion is not the same as social anxiety. An introvert doesn’t crave a high level of social input and enjoys being alone or with a few familiar people. Introversion is a personality type, and the person is happy with who they are, so it doesn’t require change (especially by family members who judge it as inferior to extroversion). Some introverts think of themselves as ‘extroverted introverts’ because they would prefer to live more quietly, but their lifestyle requires them to be more social than they would prefer. If this is you, make sure to carve out time to recharge your social battery regularly.

A person with social anxiety would love to be more social, popular, and highly engaged, but their anxiety about being social (“Am I saying the right thing?”, “Do people like me?”, “Am I dressed correctly?”) interferes with their ability to meet their own social goals. Social anxiety is a psychological diagnosis that probably needs to be treated for the person to be happy. Someone could discover they are an extrovert once their anxiety is managed.

Extroversion is not equivalent to feeling insecure about being alone. Extroversion is also a personality type—extroverts choose working environments that are social and usually opt for the company of others when considering how to spend their downtime. They feel energized and thrive in the company of others but are also content to be alone at times.

Those who struggle with insecurity seek the company of others constantly because being alone makes them feel inadequate or depressed. For those who struggle with self-esteem, being alone even for short times, makes them feel inferior. It is difficult to approach life in this way so if you or your child seem to fit this description, it may be worthwhile to seek psychological support to work through it.

Most people fall somewhere in the middle—sometimes enjoying company and sometimes just wanting to be alone to recharge. So now that you know…which are do you think you are…really?